Dear blog,
It appears to have been a long long time since I wrote. Mi dispiache, I have failed you.
Today I want to talk about sport, so I will try.
Most mornings I try to go to the gym. I find that with the job that if I try and go in the afternoon, or lunch or evening then it doesn't happen. So I go early. This means that it is quiet. Italians don't seem to be the best at getting up so early. They work hard, but they are rarely at work super early. In fact, the coffee bar in the morning only seems to work strange hours. I think it opens at 9:00 and closes at 9:30, so all the Italians get there for a coffee and a cake, when usually a cornetto con crema - which is like a croissant filled with custard. And then work begins.
I digress. The gym. It's not a place for sweating. I break all the rules by actually doing something, and not coordinating my outfit correctly. Huffing and puffing seems to be fine, as well as strutting, and compulsory gloves, even if you're not lifting weights, but sweating, that's a no no.
There is one guy, who wears short shorts, who does his hair before going into the gym. And he spends a lot of time blow drying it after.
Another guy is a very quick runner, very quick indeed. However, I can only focus on the fact that he is a "thumbs up" runner - that is, he runs as though he is giving two great big thumbs up at all times. Quite comical. One day I dream of giving him some thumbs up back - that would amuse me :)
Last night, after karate, one of my fellow karateka was explaining to me the reverse punch. Apparently I was not engaging my hips during the session. So he was giving me some punching advice, giving it a lot of big swinging hip. Unfortunately he was all of the following:
a) sweaty
b) hairy
c) tattooed
d) naked
This meant that every time he demonstrated, his salsiccia swang to and fro, like nothing I'd seen since the Jim Rose Circus, or that bit in Life of Brian. I didn't know where to look.
In many aspects, the Italians are extremely well organised. The number of marathons and half marathons is nothing short of extraordinary.
But, back to the gym. If you want to survive in an Italian gym you will require the following knowledge:
a) Do not sweat
b) Wear some gloves, even if not lifting heavy weights
c) Coordinate your outfit
d) Huffing and puffing is allowed, and possibly encouraged
e) Increase your chat to exercise ratio, the more the chat the better
f) Don't do any exercise where you cannot see yourself in the mirror
g) Do some very boring basic twisty stuff, get other people to copy you, and then make it become a national passtime, even if it is of no value
h) In the changing rooms, you must blow dry your hair, wear flips flops at all times, have a huuuuge kit bag, and have a dressing gown with a hood
i) Watch the music tv at all times
Really, I guess I'm just frustrated since the Italians eat and eat and eat, and don't do exercise and are all still thin - grrrr!
JJ
