Weapons in Staithes July 2013

This year was the big 40 for me. This meant that it was also the big 40 for my school friends, natch. Amazingly, considering the diversity of characters we have, we have remained friends through the years, with some peaks and troughs. The mighty Sex on Toast, our school band, have made several albums and the entire band, and their manager remain friends. That's pretty amazing.

For our little weekend away, we went to Staithes - a coastal fishing village in North Yorkshire. In times past it was one of the major fishing ports in the UK, hard to imagine now as it is such a small place. It is a tiny little place, with super cute old buildings, on the twisty road with "quirky brit names" (prize for guessing the quote!) such as Smugglers Row, Old Stubble, Gun Gutter, Cowbar Nab and Penny Steel. There are at least three pubs, with great beer, fish n chips, and crazy clientelle - the first night we had a conversation with a woman that led tangtially to dog bondage, and I think she was very disappointed that noone joined her back in her tent.

We stayed in Kippers Corner, less than 50 steps from the pub, which had WiFi. This was useful since to get reception on phone I had to drive about 5 miles away, being the first to arrive and not sure where to go!



Staithes is also known as being the location where James Cook gained his passion for the sea, working there prior to joining the Royal Navy at Whitby. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staithes

One day we walked from Staithes to Whitby along the coastal path - a pretty mammoth walk, with big inclines and stunning views. The coastal scenery is classic northern England - beautiful in that kind of wild and bleak way, that is wonderful when the sun is shining, but I would have the fear about being there other than on the hottest day of the year. Weather was cracking - about 28C, although, after living in Italy for a few years it felt a bit chilly, and I would have been terrified of being there in the winter.

Next year, we shall see Le Grand Depart for the Tour de France in Yorkshire. I saw one of the official vans in one of the Staithes carparks randomly! http://letour.yorkshire.com/the-grand-depart-2014


Whitby is famous for the ruined abbey on top of the hill, and the links with Bram Stoker's Dracula beaching there from a beached ship. The whale bones atop the hill and of course there is plenty of Fish n Chips. We went to the famous Magpie which is pretty bloody good . the large haddock was an absolute monster http://www.magpiecafe.co.uk/ Whitby was far too populous for us so we quickly got the frick out of there, returning on the bus, to drink more beers and whiskey and argue about the rules of poker - managing to clear the pub with our aggression. 40 years old, but we are still like little kids when we get together!!

The first night was tough for me. The night before I had said goodbye to Triple D from Siena. We went for a quiet meal at I Terzi - the meeting place of the ancient three areas of Siena - near Piazza Indepenza. We sent back a bottle of wine for re-sniffing from the gravelly (voicebox fooked?) owner and after that the waitress would not even acknowledge us - particularly whilst we were at Liberamente later! So, after the meal we went for a quick drink and ended up at Liberamente - a splendid little bar on Piazza del Campo. Several bottles in, we were super struggling. At some point, looking for a light, I got chatting to an Australian who joined us and proved to be the biggest disaster in boat race history. She told countless boring and undoubtedly (in my mind), blatant lying stories about her purportedly amazing life in Siena. She was an Aussie, used to work for the government, had a husband who had run away to Switzerland and turned gay (frankly, she WAS a gaymaker and by the end of the night would have turned me if I'd been there much longer!) - but I really thought it was just so that he could get flippin' rid of her. There was something about the cost of the car that he sold her, how she spent four months sat on the step of Liberamente crying, and how she was writing this amazing book about her experiences in Siena. My flip, her stories were so boring. At one point she said "I've got an interesting story for you...blah blah blah" - after about five minutes I interrupted her and said "Will you let us know when you get to the interesting part?" Oh my word. She was terrible. 

Anyway, we left the bar at about 3:30 am, and I was supposed to be up at 6am for the flight to the UK to see The Weapons. At 7am I was awake and showering and then driving late like an idiot, safe in the knowledge that I probably should not be. I arrived at Pisa Ryan Aie check in desk super late, super hungover, and it was super full. I had to do some crazy pushing in and got there on time. In the end, the flight was delayed as some woman took ill after taxi but prior to take off and there was the delay whilst she was off-loaded along with the hunting for her bags.

In the UK I had to drive from Stanshite up to Staithes, it was long, I was hangover, and it was AIDS, so my first night was tough, but I am glad to be the last up with a good amount of champagne and whiskey in my belly :)

And here we have excellent proof of the theory of "better from behind". Peering out of the window, whilst awaiting some of the weapns to be ready to face the brave new world of Staithes, we saw this rather attractive young lady, waiting for her beau outside our cottage. Snapped a piccy or two, later on we saw her from in front as we were walking through the time, and my good lordy lordy lord, she was an absolute horror show. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Of course we all look amazing and have aged like Adonis :)