Decline and fall of the Roman Empire

It is has come to pass that I need to change a lot of things in my life. The first and driving change will be my move to Boston, Mass which happens next week. After almost 4 years living in Italy, and some rollercoaster of emotions, live, work, personal, it is time for me to end the Italian dream and move away.

Overall, I think I've had a good time in Italy. It's hard to judge. Really. I honestly don't know. The first month was hard, really hard, living abroad for my first time, and the first couple of years with work were so so intense that I honestly don't know how I managed it. It has truly truly been a rollercoaster. Work has been at times a pleasure, and at times a freakin nightmare, occupying every cell of my body, my soul, my heart and everything that I could throw at it and at odds with what I gained from it. Personally it has also been a rollercoaster. I have kept my typical swing from workaholic, to sportaholic, to socialite, to recluse as I always do - with none of those mutually exclusive.

What I've enjoyed

• Siena is a safe place. I can leave my car, my house unlocked, forget my wallet, leave my expensive bike unlocked, forget my phone with very little fear of there being a problem (I do not have data if this is Siena or Italy).
• Italians are wonderfully friendly. They are very polite and very very nice on a superficial level.
• Friday nights in the Irish pub. I've had some cracking cracking nights in this pub on a Friday. Beer is a little pricey (5-6E EUR) but recompensed slightly by aperitivo (food at happy hour) and karaoke on a Friday.
• Learning a new language. This was something that I thought I would never enjoy, but I have enjoyed understanding how some things work in another language, and how it related to English. My favourite remains seeing "50% di sconto" on a rail sign - where I really felt I started to understand how Italian worked, and how English worked and incorporated it.
• Cycling. I kinda enjoyed cycling before I moved here. Now I AM a cyclist. Between riding with Simon, who first showed me the ropes, with Stu (and latterly M-aroo) who gave me a love of touring, and latterly with Triple D who showed me great roads around here and would remorselessly attack me whenever I showed the merest fraction of weakness.
• My trees. I ran at Pian del Lago for the Ironman training. There was a special place with beautiful trees that I really felt a connection with. Sadly they have recently been cut down. Good bye my trees and thank you!
• The weather. Forget January to April when it rains. The rest of the year is fantastic. I am now even aclimatised to the August hot hot heat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_K36y-iLUk).
• The scenery. It really is stunning. Hills and greenery despite the heat (see previous comment about rain).
• Snowboarding - super close to mountains and I learnt to snowboard.
• Wine. The wine here is amazing. See other posts.
• Work. Despite the work being hard and often super super AIDS, it has on occasion been very rewarding.
• Travel. I have been lucky enough to travel with work to some fantastic places, including but not limited to: Switzerland, Portugal, Germany, China, South Africa, USA, Mozambique, Singapore, Philippines, and Thailand. In Italy I have seen a lot of the country, not enough, never enough (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5Cqp3pnE98), but a goodly amount.
• I did an Ironman.
• L'Eroica. See above. Cycling.
• Cycle tours in Italy with Stu n M-arooo.
• The friendship test. I've stayed in touch with some people and lost touch with others. The ones who count, count. That should really be #1 in my list.
• Food. The food is amazing. Simple, clean, healthy (see below).
• I'm not in debt any more for the first time in my life (if you ignore my enormous mortagage!).
• Pompeii and Ercolano - no comments, just fantastic.

What I've not enjoyed

• I should never again live in the country. I grew up in the 'burbs and I need that feeling. I hate being around people, but I think most of the world is like that, but being isolated is even worse for me. I need to have the ability to walk to a pub and have a drink. I will never live anywhere again that I cannot do that (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Nk2iNjLYuk).
• I have no connection with anyone Italian. The friends I will take away from here are all ex-pats. The language barrier aside, I do not relate well with the Italians unfortunately.
• The language. It took me a long long time to get the balls to start speaking, I was very resistant and needed a lot of confidence to try. I am much better now, but still lack that confidence. Mind you, some people you just can't reach (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3WcuvL737A  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YQQHY2YrEY  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RWBKSszCYE) - just like speaking to a Geordie, there will always be some Italians that I simply could never understand even with 20 years of study.
• Crostini bloody misti. A lot of the things I am saying are appearing in both columns. Siena is a backward place, full of inbreds. Little me is a giant here. All the women look identical, short, brown hair, dark eyes. All the foot in every fooking place is the same. Pici con cinghiale, crostini misti. Every freaking place the same. Jeepers. Very few foreign restaurants - now it's better but when I arrived there was one sushi place. When the first kebab shop opened it was amazing.

Overall
Well Italy wins. Bugger. I should have been more positive - a lot more. Mea culpa.

Originally I was planning on titling this entry the Last Days of Pompeii - I love Pompeii, it is one of my favourite places, if not my favourite place in Italy. But I don't think this really would set the sort of tone for which I am seeking. The Last Days of Pompeii was written by Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1934 and details largely the standard minutiae, well if not minutiae, but the general flotsum and jetsam of modern life, rather than the cataclysmic events that led to it. Essentially based on some historical evidence, with allusions to the letters of Pliny the Younger, it is not the tone I want to set. Thus, I have chosen The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (Edward Gibbon, 1776) as a more appropriate metaphor, simile although really in this case I think this is an allegory.
All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances; 
William Shakespeare
Moving away from the book, the actual Decline of the Roman Empire is a much debated subject. Folk divide their opinions betwixt four major memes:

• Decay owing to general malaise
• Monocausal decay
• Catastrophic collapse
• Transformation

Personally I think I can ascribe my general decline of my own Roman Empire to sit between all these camps, and the purpose to describe herein, is really to improve myself and attempt to avoid such declines in the future.
1) General malaise. I do have general malaise. I have failed to integrate into Italian society and have not studied speaking Italian for at least two years. For this reason, my sentence currently served of four years would seem to be sufficient to step away having given it a good crack of the whip whilst acknowledging that it's not for me for long term. I remain happy with the consideration that Italy is a wonderful wonderful place to come on holiday but a very difficult place to live. Why o why I hear you ask? OK - let me give you one simple example from now. I need two things: a battery for my power meter for my bike, and some clutch fluid for my car. I do not know where to get them. I imagine that the battery cannot be got in Siena. That annoys the frig out of me. I still physically feel the time I went into the 24/7 Tescos in Bishops Awful about 2 years ago and saw everything under one roof and I nearly cried.
2) Monocausal decay. I don't think I have lead poisoning, the plague and no issues with Asia or trade.
3) Catastrophic collapse. There has been a recent incident, but generally I have weathered the highs and lows of living in Italy pretty well, so I cannot say that a catastrophic collapse is causal in my instance. However, I did find a Praying Mantis in a meeting room I was in in the office recently, so maybe this was the initial portent of doom?? Something like a plague of locusts? I mean - how could a praying mantis get into our conference room???
4) Transformation. I think this must be me. I have been here four years and I have changed, although I remain identical to what I always was, and what I guess I always will be. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks, and I am now 40 years old, and will be learning less new tricks. I know that I will not settle in Italy. Ever. Maybe somewhere different in Italy might work - I had fun times in Milan, Firenze, down south, Roma, got excited by the idea of going to Napoli, Ferrara - but I imagine the same will be thus. On the rare occasions that I go to the UK I am delighted by the ability to relax and speak my normal banter. I do not notice it any more but when I come back to Italy, people say how my accent is stronger and how difficult they find it to understand my English again. So, I have transformed. I have tried Italy and it has not worked, so I will try something else. The UK is not attractive to me now, so why not the US whilst the option is there?

Reflections

What I've tried to/need to change
I need a new start and will try to make some changes when I get to Boston. Things have not gone so well here, both recently, and realistically, over the entire time that I have been here. I need to make some changes, and I need to commit to them so will start writing them publicly.

I will try and make and commit to some personal goals, largely trying to make myself a better person, or at least make myself a better version of myself. That is all I can aspire to. Watch this space.

What I will take away

Cycling
Cycling has been a huge discovery for me here. From the early days in my first few months here, cycling with Simon and thinking that an hour was a massive ride, I am now a cycling addict, and cannot wait to get out on my bike as often as is possible. The roads are beautiful, the scenery stunning, the weather amazing (January to April rains excluded), the roads smooth, and the drivers corteous to cyclists. I love it and really hope I can continue in Boston. I used to do a lot of rowing, and have done an Ironman last year, but it seems that cycling suits me well and leaves me largely injury free, which after a lot of back and knee problems is a huge bonus. Thanks particularly to Simon who got me there in the first place, to Stu n M-arooo who helped, to Triple D who I battled against, and all the others that helped me, and finally to El Fume who introduced my to Strave which has helped me battle against myself which is the only fight that is really worthwhile.






I am a nightmare when I am not exercising, which tends to be at least 50% of the year, at which time I descend into the opposite of a fitness person - drinking, eating rubbish, smoking and not looking after myself. Recently I have embraced again the #NSNG no sugar no grains of Vinnie Tortorich (http://www.vinnietortorich.com/) and this seems to be working. After getting pretty fit for the Giro di Sardegna, I fell off the exercise and general health bandwagon and managed to put on about 6.5 kg in a couple of months. I am now working to get it off again, using the approach that works best for me, amusingly not disimilar to what I used when I was getting light for rowing - lots of fruit, vegetables and meats, and avoiding carbohydrates. I need to make this a lifestyle choice rather than a diet and stick with it long term.



The world of food is hidden with sugar, high fructose corn syrup and other rubbish that has a profound effect on me.


How I've spent my final days
It has been very overdue that I should leave, and I thought I would have a bucket list of things to do that I just have not done. A few weeks ago I rode L'Eroica route which got that monkey off my back. I have never been, properly, to Naples, and that is said for me. I would like to go to some of the crazy islands near Sicily, such as Stromboli (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stromboli).
I have lots to do work wise and have realised it will not be done.
I have not done my expenses for months - this MUST be done before leaving.
And I've done some cycling, some great cycling -since I've been on a health kick I have been cycling strong, despite my advanced weight, so that's been fun. In fact, I picked up a very cheeky KOM on Saturday - beating several very well known pros - will post the pictures at the end of the post.
For my last Friday night I went to the pub. The Irish pub. The only pub. It is deep and dark and mysterious and I love it. It has made me love Irish pubs the world round. The beers aren't great (except maybe for the Ichnusa - Sardengan beer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birra_Ichnusa)) and the aperitivo (nibbles) aren't great, and the location isn't great (it's close to La Lizza to meet up, but away from the main drag), but I do love it. After this, we went to the solo Indian place (http://www.namasteyindiasiena.it/) - Namastey. Again, it's not great, but the owners are from Leicester, and although it's not listed they will make muttoor paneer (Cheesey peas) for me. Then we went to the square and hit more gins and spritzes. Then there was a get out option at about 2am and I took it as otherwise it would have been a 5am morning and I would not have ridden my bike. Yin and yang.


Castellina in Chianti
On my Saturday ride I took a small diversion through the centre of Castellina in Chianti. This is a beautiful little town, where we used to hang out a lot, and I have really not been for a couple of years, despite there being, reputedly, the best ice cream place in the area. I saw a t-shirt I liked - of course, a cinghiale riding a bike(!) and decided to come back later. The lady in the shop told me it was the festa di San Lorenzo - the night where people stay late to watch the stars. I went back later and it was live and loud and exciting. A jazz band walked through the town, food and wine wine wine aplenty. Many many shops and hundreds of people. The shop in which I went, the lady was having a few spritzes and rather jolly. If I had someone to spend my time there with, I would have stayed and it would have been wonderful, alas I did not, so I did not. And came home to update blogs etc ;)
Castellina is a cracking little place. In future, if I ended up back in Siena, I would consider living there - there are bars, and restaurants, and it is oh so so pretty.






Un'Americana a Roma
I've not blogged so much recently. This partly due to someone else saying exactly what I wanted to say, only more eloquently, more regularly, and with a better understanding of Italian. This is Un'Americana A Roma (http://unamericanaaroma.com) who scripts wonderful blog entries, with beautiful pictures and captures all the ridiculousness that I want to talk about but forget to!

This is The Line
I'm probably going to get some grief for this, but I need to get some grief, else I am not going to change. Some time ago I bought a couple of Team Sky cycling tops. I never would do now, as I know it is wrong wrong wrong to buy Team Kit. As accorded by The Rules of The Velominati - The Keepers of the Cog (http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/#17). Rule #17 states that
Wearing Pro team kit is also questionable if you’re not paid to wear it. 
So, wearing team kit whilst not being in the team looks douchey. In fact, one time I got hollered at whilst wearing my Team Sky kit and have not worn it whilst on the bike since.
On the kit that I own, I knew there was some stuff written on it, but didn't pay it much attention. Recently I read it properly and started to read up on the concept of "The Line". It is a concept regarding the approach of Team Sky, incorporating Marjory Gains and the scientific approach that they have to training, life, diet, health and everything in between.
More here:
(http://www.antidote.co.uk/work/team-sky/)
And check the video
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOonBpgAE34)
I like it. I hear it. I feel it. I want to embrace something like this to change my life moving forward. I want to find My Line, My Line between winning and losing, Between failure and success, Between good and great, Between dreaming and believing, Between convention and innovation, Between head and heart. It's a fine Line. I want it to challenge everything I do. And I want to ride it every day.

KOM on The Big Momma

My cheeky little KOM from Saturday. Maximum speed 49.7 mph!!! Beat a few pros!!! Boom!!!

And finally, a little review of my blog. I started this to capture my thoughts and my essentially private diary entries as I moved to Italy. It did ok, and icnreasingly I thought it would be good for me to print it out and save it for nostalgia purposes when I left. I'm happy with what I've done. Could've done more, could've done less - but it's been ok. Amazingly, I am now at over 24,000 views of my blog. That blows my mind - they can't all be me!

Ciao for now, See y'all. Bwasssstaaan baby.

JJ