Giro di Cuore di Leone primo di maggio 2012
The third annual bike tour took place this week, finishing today, primo di maggio, again in Italy. In the past we have done a coast to coast from west to east coast in Italy (Marina di Pisa to Rimini and Ravenna - crossing the Rubicon en route), a giro in Sicily (aka Picily, incorporating an ascent of Mount Etna) and here we are - 2012 - Cuore di Leone - roughly following the path of Richard the Lionheart's crusades from Rome to the port of Brindisi before sailing over the seas to divide and conquer. This takes in some of the Appian Way - the ancient Roman road, wherever it is possible.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appian_way
This was a mighty meaty ride - 7 days in the saddle, a coast to coast, self-supported, over 700 km, testing our legs, our heads, our friendships, the hospitality of the Italians, the roads, our trusty steeds and fell neatly into the standard rubric of "Terror Tours" - kindly penned by the ladies to reflect that all our "holidays" include an element of life-endangering behaviour that pushes the pendulum from sheer joy and bliss to absolute terror on an absolute knifeedge. All in search of the ever-elusive beach day that Martin still hankers for. Previous terror tours include rowing from Oxford to Greenwich in a hundred year old boat and duelling with the diabolical on the Amalfi coast en route back from Pompeii.
Overview:
Who: 3 compadres - JJ, Stu and Grots.
What: Self-supported bike tour from Rome to Brindisi and back, in push bikes. Doing "speed touring?credit card touring" - that is, riding with quick road bikes, slick tyres, small packs, covering large miles, and sleeping in B&Bs/hotels.
When: End April 2012.
Why: unanswerable.
Where: Italy.
Days:
Day 1: [major replanning - more to follow] Meet at Rome Fiumicino airport, train to Brindisi
Day 2: Ride Brindisi to Bari - 85.3 miles
Day 3: Ride Bari to Foggia - 81.1 miles
Day 4: Ride Foggia to Benevento - 61.2 miles
Day 5: Ride Benevento to Herculaneum - 47.8 miles - half day beach day rest
Day 6: Half day tour of Herculaneum beach day rest day - Ride Herculaneum to Baia di Domizia - 56.5 miles
Day 7: Ride Baia di Domizia to Ostia (Lido di Roma) - 117.1 miles
Day 8: Half day tour of Antica Ostia - Ride Ostia to Rome Fiumicino airport - 12.0 miles
Total distance covered - 461 miles (742 km)
Day 1:Train from Rome to Brindisi
Stu and Grots travelled bright and early from London Gatwick to Rome Fiumicino airport. Grots has established a solid reputation for mishandling airports and started on form - walking to security he pulled out of his pocket an "illegal" knife that was used to prepare the bikes that should have been in the bike box. Airport security in this moment in time is strong - being discovered with one of these items requires a report to the police and possible detention. Thankfully, an honest approach and charm won through and only a short delay meant that Grots actually got on the correct plane this time, and met JJ as requested bright and early in Rome.
Early starts and a particularly bad year at work made for a grumpy JJ, bedraggled in hoodie, Stu and Grots arrived with bikes intact and set off to the car park for the great unfrocking. Of course this was not without challenge - bikes are heavy and difficult to get on the travelators . Grots had designed some amazing team cycling tops and Stu had provided 3 novelty bells. Grots brought many mini bottles for decanting Assos Chamois Cream, essential for, well, you know what - chamois cream in the morning and sudocream in the evening.
And we were off! Planning had been a challenge and despite promises from all three our planning has gotten worse and worse with each giro. This year was spectacular and really demonstrated the high and lows of what we can and cannot achieve. Our plan was to ride from Rome to Brindisi, as would Richard Lionheart, and then get the train back. However, the weather had been terrible in Italy. Terrible. Well, not as bad as the UK (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/weather/9238015/Hosepipe-ban-to-stay-despite-wettest-April-on-record.html) but really bad. Italy is a wonderful green place, well - northern Italy, well, what do I know? I shall re-commence. Tuscany is a wonderful green place. It gets stinking hot in the summer (in July and August 2011 it didn't rain and was 38C or above every day) but stays green - this means that there is a balance - which means that there is lots of rain at some point to strike a balance. In my short experience this has been February to April, however, this year there had not been rain for 2 months, however - the two weeks before our trip there had been constant rain and terrible temperatures, only getting to 18C every day (obviously much better than the UK, but I am now soft and cannot ride in anything colder - plus we are supposed to be on holiday - discusses this as a group - this was a training camp for triathletes and NOT a holiday, but even so it's better when the sun shines!). For this reason, and looking at the long range forecast we decided two days before kick off to reverse our route and chase the sun - we would train to Brindisi on day one and then ride back - according to the weather forecast this way we would miss most of the rain. So, we walked our bikes to the train station and find out that we could not take our bikes on the trains. I had elongated and elaborate conversations with all the staff but they implored that the trains that had been promised to me in Siena were not appropriate for bikes - from Fiumicino to Roma (20 miles) they are big trains, and from Rome to Brindisi they were Freccia Rossa - the intercity trains of Italy - with zero space for trains. In Italy trains are well served with bike space - but only on local trains. For intercity trains there are almost no options - frustrating. We decided to blag it - we bought a ticket to Rome and bundled on to the train, seconds before departure, whilst pretending to get onto a regional train. The conductor was not happy with us, but we pretended we did not speak a word of Italian to the conductor who spoke English well and said it was not allowed but allowed us anyway (this will be a recurrent theme!). He was doubly happy when we told him that we had flown from the UK to Rome just to avoid the French - he joined us in our francophobia/hatred and all was tickety-boo. And so we blagged out way into Rome.
In Rome we chilled out, our train was not for a while and we relaxed with a stroll around the mayhemn that is Roma Termini train station - it lived up to expectations - slightly scary locals, and lots of tramps - one of whom left a special deposit on next to the door of the train station - classic. As our train time approached we meandered to get some tickets. I jollied off for the tickets and the others looked after the bikes. Very quickly I realised we were in very big trouble. The Freccia Rossa is a big deal in Roma and the queue was intense. I hid my bike helmet and bought three tickets - sadly only first class left at a cost of over 90 EUR per ticket - which turned out to be a saving grace later on. Meanwhile, we had about 3 minutes to spare to the only train to Brindisi and we ran to the platform where we were met by a burly (if short) train conductor who said absolutely that bikes were not allowed and we would not be getting on. He spoke no English so I deployed my very basic Italian and I honestly think this was our saving grace. We were stood on the platform arguing, with an incredibly full train, with no space for luggage or bikes, the guard blew the whistle and we said "fook it" and dived onto the train. Of course we had to batter a few Italians out of the way to get on but we did it. At least now we knew that we were committed to at least get one stop along the way and that was a relief even if this was possibly the worst part of the trip - at least for me, hoping to not have fouled up the trip at the very first hurdle. We were discussing various rescheduling trips in case we were not able to make the full distance which would have been very disappointing. In reality we owe our luck to the very kind locals on the train - these are local people who travel every day from Rome to Caserta, and although being very local they were extremely pleasant and helpful - really I have so much to thank them for, these casual workers who ride on this train every day. One of them even had a mini seat to sit on once the train has quietened down a little.
We continued to argue with all the passengers, the trolley dolley and everyone about taking all the room. The guard kept moaning and moaning and we eventually took this as the Italian way - a thing is not allowed, but if you do it and talk to the right people then you can do it anyway. In this case, for the first time ever, it was advantageous to speak Italian - the guard spoke no English and was a little mellowed by my terrible Italian. Also, having a first class ticket really helped. Once the train cleared a little, since we were completely blocking all the avenues, we took wheels off and made an effort to get them out of the way - this involved leaning them up against a door and was nothing less than a pain in the frig and not ideal for the start of a giro. Further the train was a pendolino and swayed left and right as it rocked through the Italian countryside at awesome speed - this was quite sick-making which did not help our tired minds. Grots later found out that the clicking noise he heard the train guard making means "no" - I certainly have never spotted this before! Of course, Italian hand gestures are the norm and certainly an essential part of the language, understanding and speaking but noises are completely new to me.
http://italian.about.com/od/italianculture/tp/italian-hand-gestures.htm
Italy being Italy our sleep-deprived minds were confused as they were surrounded by some strange sites. Notably, there was an older lady wearing some silver spangly platform trainers that amused us no end - she was old, rough, shades on at all times, constantly arguing and and stopping at every station for a jam rag - classic. The shoes really blew our minds - Grots found the opportunity to get the topperest shot ever, helped by the fact that he was dosing on the train floor hugging his bike whilst she was stropping up and down.
Also it made us look for every other silver shoe for the rest of the trip - and there were many!
Secondly was the inexplicable pole dancing warning sign below. No idea what it means - answers on a postcard to the usual adress please.
Eventually we made it, taking over 6 hours and a lot of ball clenching excitement and landed in the ancient port of Brindisi.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brindisi
We had very low expectations of Brindisi, a rough old Roman port town, and we were amazed. It was nothing short of wonderful, and one of our favourite places of the whole trip. OUr hotel was close to the train station, and was one of the best of the week. The chap was pleasant and unduly ehlkpful, our bikes were quickly stored in the hotel store room and we were in. We requested a recommendation for a restaurant and they guy (Carlo) gave us a shot in the dark. We set out for a stroll through the well cleaned streets, and ate at the recommended restaurant which turned out to be possibly the best food of the entire week. I took a chef's fantasia starter (hopefully without chef's special sauce) and it was the most amazing smorgasboard of amazing vegetables and all sorts of local goodies. I have now been in Italy two and a half years, but this food was truly amazing and I cannot recommend it enough.
I also decided to break my duck and have my first booze of the year, not to mention eating carbs for the first time in 3 months. This theme carried on through the week as I decided that the mileage required some booze and carbs to get through and that it was allowed. Cracking.
After dinner we took a stroll and found the source, well rather the end, of the Appian Way - the one remaining of an original two huge columns that denoted the end of the Appian Way and existed as a sighter for Roman sea traffic - very impressive. The town was buoyant and happy with a public holiday the next day and we turned in on good vibes.
Hotel decoration was classic - huge keys that were like a weights session and some crazy hotel photos - here was our favourite, Grots claimed it is a view of Fearn Cotton. With pendulous norkingtons.
Of course - we obtained the classic nipic.
Kit selections:
Bike boxes are essential for airplane travel. There are a number of options including bags, cardboard boxes, inflatable boxes and solid boxes. A cardboard box can be sourced from a local bike shop for zero pence cash, a bag can be sourced from Decathlon for around 50 GBP, inflatable and solid boxes
for up to 400 GBP. For this trip, Stu and Grots used cardboard boxes and JJ drove down from Siena. Solid boxes are best, but they can be damaged, and the bikes are not so expensive, so in this instance a cardboard box is best. For packing and unpacking bikes there is a very strict schedule for two reason - first to protect the bike, and second to get the space. Most airlines will offer a "sports equipment" supplementary ticket which costs approx 50 GBP each way. Weight limit is approximately 25 kg and this is absolutely great - but you need to check when booking flights. Bike boxes can be used to store kit essential for travel but not for touring e.g. gaffer tape, "clean" clothes, knives, oil etc.
Bear in mind that a bike box is heavy and unwieldy. My bike bag has a strap, which makes it extremely easy to carry, but with 25 kg of bike in it it quickly becomes extremely uncomfortable and heavy. A bike box is also unwieldy, is difficult to carry and does not place on a trolley very well. With two of you this is ok, solo it can be difficult. Some bike boxes have wheels - get involved!
Bells are extremely useful for comms when riding in groups. We used a system of one ring = all ok/carry on/go faster, two rings = slow down, three rings = trouble/I'm confused = get ready to stop. Really useful for rides, and also indicates to cars and pedestrians when in towns. Wonderful stuff. Grots also had a comedy horn which we used only for comedy effect, very useful when riding over 100 miles per day!
Complications:
It is impossible to carry a bike box/bag with you when you are speed touring - for this reason, it is essential to plan the ability to get this unit back. This could be stashing it at a hotel if you are doing an out and back, or in this case JJ drove and Stu and Grots stashed their boxes in JJ's car. Great option if available but costly for airport parking, plus not always possible!
Hotel: Hotel Regina Brindisi. Close to train station, small and very friendly and very accommodating. Gave us an excellent heads up for storing our bikes. Highly recommended.
And of course, well not of course, but anyway, Helen Mirren lives somewhere around here - well she tries to live when she's not arguing with beaureacratic Italian planners! We didn't see her. And she's not like she was when in Excalibur anyway (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082348/).
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/9177325/Helen-Mirrens-holiday-home-in-Italian-council-planning-row.html
Day 2: Brindisi to Bari
85.3 miles
Woke up in good time and cracked on to breakfast - this consisted of a good range of teas, coffees, juices, cereals, juices, meats and boiled eggs. Wonderful. Hit the spot. Early on, after admiring the war photos - Brindisi was very active in WWII - we got on the road and cracked on through the wonders of Brindisi. A quick photo at the column and a touch of the water and we were off. Our specially-designed Giro tops were sparkling and clean and would never be like that again. The sun was shining, bikes were freshly built and oiled.
Hitting the roads we enjoyed a meander along the coast roads. We struggled with the lack of roads - as predicted there was a main road - too big for bikes, and a parallel older road - however - this varied between going one side or the other, sometimes we had to stop and go over, and even went into a holiday village at one point. Nice to see and the visio was wonderful, but this detracted from our speed. Found some excellent waterfront stuff along the way.
Coffee breaks are an essential part of the Italian cycling experience - although there is the clear etiquette of not drinking cappuccino after 11:30 am throughout Italy. It is tempting to break it, but really, is not the done thing!
http://timesonline.typepad.com/dons_life/2012/03/the-coffee-police.html
At lunch we stopped in at a local cafe - we found a place off the beach with lots of locals and ate some cheap pasta, Stu was particularly unimpressed with eating an entire Walls Vienetta between us - the joke being lost on the wonderful staff at Tiziana's beach bar - in Italian he told her that he had travelled 2000 miles to Italy and now was eating a Vienetta. She didn't get it. A very sweet old lady helped us and paid particular attention to us turning up on our bikes. She complemented us on what we were doing, and then said that you are all young so it's ok. Then she turned to Stu and said - not him, he's older yes? :) This set the tone for the next few days - all the Italians we met (except for a couple of very notable exceptions) were incredibly polite, helpful, happy to see us, and delighted to engage - it was a joy to be around them. Further, the roads were very generally pleasant and the traffic very polite and forgiving to us eejits - even through Napoli the traffic always gave way and were very considerate to us - generally I think this is due to them being used to Vespas and the like, and certainly they are far far superior to anything in the UK.
Along these roads we found some beautiful scenery - here are some crops that the iPhone has not captured the beauty of. And in Puglia there are of course the trulli - these are traditional conical stone-built houses - legend has it that they were made so that the keystone could be removed and they wold collapse and that way avoid taxation if a tax inspector visited!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trullo
Beware the design of gloves you wear, as you can get some strange hand tans. Of course - this is not a problem for Grots who "does not tan".
Day 3: Bari to Foggia
81.1 miles
Of course it's not all fun fun fun. Sharing a small room with 3 guys can be challenging. In the words of Charles Dickens - "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" - a bedroom can become "fruity" and there are a number of techniques that need to be employed to handle this. The first is the buff
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buff_(headgear)
which can be used for a huge number of tasks including keeping cool, keeping warm, keeping the sun off, and keeping the stink out. If a buff is not to hand, another option is to insert a large amount of toilet paper up your noise to keep the miasmas out.
When in Rome one must do as the Romans, however, when sharing small rooms in Foggia with padded walls and mirrored walls and ceilings then I have no idea what is left.
At some point in this day we came across what can only be described as a tramp on a bike. He was riding a tatty mountain bike, carrying all sorts of bags and things, plus a spare wheel that he was holding across his handlbars. He rode in a very strange manner jerking his back up and down as he went along. He was clearly a tramp - smelly clothes, gap-toothed smile, wild an crazy hair, and an amazing ability to shout random things at cars and passers by. The thing was that he was moving along at a tremendous pace - he was going not much slower than us, and that was on fat tyred, knackered old mountain bike, with a rear wheel that was no longer true, let alone round and he was flying along. I had a little chat with him as we were riding to assess what he was up to. He spoke to me with a very thick accent, I wondered if this was the same as all those drink people that you find on London streets seeming as if they are from Scotland. Anyway, he claimed to be going to Foggia - and this was some 40 or 50 miles away at the time. We trundled off away from him, some time later we stopped for coffee or lunch or something, and sure enough he passed us sat down enjoying our break. Amazing athlete for a tramp, incredible.
Of course it's not all fun fun fun. Sharing a small room with 3 guys can be challenging. In the words of Charles Dickens - "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" - a bedroom can become "fruity" and there are a number of techniques that need to be employed to handle this. The first is the buff
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buff_(headgear)
which can be used for a huge number of tasks including keeping cool, keeping warm, keeping the sun off, and keeping the stink out. If a buff is not to hand, another option is to insert a large amount of toilet paper up your noise to keep the miasmas out.
When in Rome one must do as the Romans, however, when sharing small rooms in Foggia with padded walls and mirrored walls and ceilings then I have no idea what is left.
At some point in this day we came across what can only be described as a tramp on a bike. He was riding a tatty mountain bike, carrying all sorts of bags and things, plus a spare wheel that he was holding across his handlbars. He rode in a very strange manner jerking his back up and down as he went along. He was clearly a tramp - smelly clothes, gap-toothed smile, wild an crazy hair, and an amazing ability to shout random things at cars and passers by. The thing was that he was moving along at a tremendous pace - he was going not much slower than us, and that was on fat tyred, knackered old mountain bike, with a rear wheel that was no longer true, let alone round and he was flying along. I had a little chat with him as we were riding to assess what he was up to. He spoke to me with a very thick accent, I wondered if this was the same as all those drink people that you find on London streets seeming as if they are from Scotland. Anyway, he claimed to be going to Foggia - and this was some 40 or 50 miles away at the time. We trundled off away from him, some time later we stopped for coffee or lunch or something, and sure enough he passed us sat down enjoying our break. Amazing athlete for a tramp, incredible.
Day 4: Foggia to Benevento
61.2 miles
We had some beautiful riding today through vineyards and the sun shone brightly on our inept map reading. Around lunchtime we needed some good feeding so we stopped at Savignano and asked a cafe where to eat and they recommended a small restaurant further up the road. We dropped in and I spoke with some old nonna who seemed open to us. We got settled in, apologised for our stink and saw what was going on, an old get was eating some fruit and sticking the peel in a wood burner which was next to our table. The place was battered and old and clearly run by the nonna and it turned out the the old get was her hubby, or maybe her latest squeeze. She reeled out a short list of pastas and we sat back and tucked into some bread. When the food arrived we were blown away - I had a spaghetti carbonara and it was probably the best pasta dish I have ever eaten. OK I was hungry, OK I had been in Bari and Foggi, but it was still amazing. We skipped secondo and went for pudding which turned out to be prune tart - that made us happy as we have a reputation for pruney goodness. We got chatting with the couple about what the frick we were doing and this sparked up the interest of the old man who was telling us that it was not the way to go to get to Ercolano! We had many discussions - and I agreed with him in principle, although I felt we were committed to where we were going. He had a great Italian accent - every word had the dropped final syllable and I asked him where he was from and was surprised when he said he was local, as I was sure he Napolitano or further south. Also he had a great outburst at one point when he could not remember some city names "managggia" - classic italian! We paid and made our way outside, meanwhile the old fella had staggered down the steps and was asking a local truck driver about which was the best route to get to Ercolano. What a sweet sweet guy - he really cared as did (almost) everybody that we met on the trip.
Why are there no distances for any of the places that we ever want to go to??
We arrived in good time for Benevento, and enjoyed a drink in the square before finding our hotel. Again we ran into another cyclist who was keen to know where we were going and what we were doing. We took a stroll to examine all the sights and came across the rather splendid arch of Trajan which denoted the Via Traiana - the road from Rome to Brindisi - how apt.
After this we bundled around other lovely stuff, although we were sadly too late to see the amphitheatre so we sat in a "pub" with a beer, watching a couple of mangey cats being fed by a rather startlingly strange woman with the upper body of a skinny person, and the bottom half of about three people, all within a rather compact package.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennyroyal
He then brought out some crazy witches spirit - Liquore Strega - which destroyed us. Over and out.
http://www.locandadellestreghe.it/
http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streghe_di_Benevento
http://www.magic-flights-projects.eu/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=59&Itemid=71
Hotel: Grand Hotel Benevento
Generally very efficient and excellent, without any need or requirement to chat or complicate.
Day 5: Benevento to Ercolano
47.8 miles
A stonking hot day, we wound our way through hills, never as high as we feared they would be and had some good riding. We stopped and ate some wonderful deserts and then we encountered some issues. First, whilst we were eating the deserts a shot rang out - the locals ran out, maybe fearing gunshot, however, it turned out to be Grot's front inner tube exploding. OK, it was hot, but not that hot. A quick change and we were off again. Thankfully that was the only mechanical that we had on the entire trip.
As we were approaching Ercolano we started finding problems. The first and biggest was the cobbles. Big downhills full of very large cobbles, with massive gaps in them. And all the time I was fearing about my wheels with low spoke numbers. Horrible horrible hand crushing, culo numbing, rubbish. At one point the vibration was so much that it bounced Grot's bag off the back of his bike - thankfully a very kind local stopped us and told us. Again - they were extremely pleasant at all times.
Arriving in Ercolano we took our beach day. The hotel was superb, located on the beach, although disappointingly the two swimming pools were not usable, and the beach was rocks rather than sand. We lay on the rocks listening to the waves, and enjoying the local sights and thus Grots had his beach day. We decided not to venture out into Ercolano's cruel streets but rather ate a local restaurant - which turned out to be absolutely superb. There were a lot of sea food, naturally, and it was at this time that we all converted. After another fishy pasta, this time so fishy that Grots could not eat it, and my as ever being lightly seafood squeamish we decided that our fates were being decided by some great Octopus god that had been sent down to try us. To this day we are not sure if this god is Squiddly Diddly or Tarvu - rather we follow blindly the path, fate in their hands, just happy to serve, whatsoever our fate may be. We do know with Tarvu "that it is so easy to join. Now."
http://www.tarvu.com/
A stonking hot day, we wound our way through hills, never as high as we feared they would be and had some good riding. We stopped and ate some wonderful deserts and then we encountered some issues. First, whilst we were eating the deserts a shot rang out - the locals ran out, maybe fearing gunshot, however, it turned out to be Grot's front inner tube exploding. OK, it was hot, but not that hot. A quick change and we were off again. Thankfully that was the only mechanical that we had on the entire trip.
As we were approaching Ercolano we started finding problems. The first and biggest was the cobbles. Big downhills full of very large cobbles, with massive gaps in them. And all the time I was fearing about my wheels with low spoke numbers. Horrible horrible hand crushing, culo numbing, rubbish. At one point the vibration was so much that it bounced Grot's bag off the back of his bike - thankfully a very kind local stopped us and told us. Again - they were extremely pleasant at all times.
Arriving in Ercolano we took our beach day. The hotel was superb, located on the beach, although disappointingly the two swimming pools were not usable, and the beach was rocks rather than sand. We lay on the rocks listening to the waves, and enjoying the local sights and thus Grots had his beach day. We decided not to venture out into Ercolano's cruel streets but rather ate a local restaurant - which turned out to be absolutely superb. There were a lot of sea food, naturally, and it was at this time that we all converted. After another fishy pasta, this time so fishy that Grots could not eat it, and my as ever being lightly seafood squeamish we decided that our fates were being decided by some great Octopus god that had been sent down to try us. To this day we are not sure if this god is Squiddly Diddly or Tarvu - rather we follow blindly the path, fate in their hands, just happy to serve, whatsoever our fate may be. We do know with Tarvu "that it is so easy to join. Now."
http://www.tarvu.com/
Outside of the restaurant we kept our noses clean - the place is a real mess and we didn't want any games. We found some graffiti which summed up our thoughts:
Hotel: Puntaquattroventi. Clean and tidy, great view, on the coast, shame about it being in Ercolano!
After coming back, I stumbled across this link is my archives, and I feel a little embarassed as it seems that Ercolano is one of the nearby Napoli towns that is taking a stand against the mafia (the Camorra). Next time I will review with more open eyes.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17110262
Meanwhile, we amused ourselves with the usual banalaties including, but not limited to:
Sh1t cyclists say:
"I'm feeling so vascular today"
"All I had today was a guu and a banana peel"
"Is this the lightest bell you have?"
"I took three sh1ts this morning"
"Man - shaved legs make such a difference"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMCkuqL9IcM
More sh1t cyclists say:
\http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQsOpTSzfOs
Sh1t aussie cyclists say:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbEJfJlvp4E
Sh1t triathletes say:
"Is that carbon?"
"How much does this way?"
"Is this more aero? Or this?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AW62By3K2s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5KrktnXG1Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AW62By3K2s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KTEgLKhjIw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFH0MKzLfKU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQe1wTnY8ak&list=UUvxuJwQPIQL3cO8CkQmN80w&index=5&feature=plcp
I like big butts - Sir Mixalot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reTx5sqvVJ4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kYYuKbxa30
Day 6: Ercolano to Baia di Domizia
56.5 miles
The morning started with another beach day - that is a tour of the Roman site of Herculaneum - Ercolano to the locals. This is in the same vein as Pompeii - wiped out by the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 AD and then buried under mud and ash for 1700 years until it was discovered when a local prince was digging a well. Not as big as Pompeii - not a fraction of the size really, but equally ornate and well preserved, and actually possibly a little better. Ercolano was on the sea, but the eruption resculptured the coast and now is about 500 metres in land. In fact, recently (30 years or so ago) some skeletons were found in buildings called the boat houses and they are truly incredibly well preserved. Also there are remains of a roman boat housed in a museum that we could only peer through the window of. In some of the houses there are significant amounts of wood remaining, including beams of houses and also a screen door used for dividing rooms apart. Incredible stuff. Ercolano was a rich beach town for locals and so some of the items are truly fabulous and the remaining mosaics extremely ornate.
We completed a half day stroll around, notable for the deafening sounds of the following:
a) mating frogs
b) whinging Scots
c) Lobstered geordies
d) Stupid Americans. Three little porky girls, going around and saying "ooooh myyy goood" to the most banal things in Ercolano, and then the worst thing, whilst looking at some of the drawings "wow - they're like native american indians drawing" - no they are not you stupid piggy american dumbquat.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herculaneum
We set off from Ercolano, and again a friendly local offered to give us some guidance. We had to again tackle all the freaking cobbles but there was a greater terror awaiting us - the mayhem of Napoli. We had to cross from the south to the north side of Napoli, right through the middle, avoiding cobbles and dual carriageways. The wonders of our planning resulted in us attempting this part on Sunday afternoon which was the best possible time to do this, the roads were quiet. It was a nervous time and we held on to our faith of Tarvu and he steered us through. Or was it Squiddly Diddly? We went through some very nasty looking areas of Napoli and drove down a tram track at one point, but it went extremely smoothly, apart from a couple of unneccessary diversions. In fact, in one particular area we went down, a tough looking guy on a scooter told us the area was a dead end, and all the cars were extremely gracious to us, always giving us the right of way - thank you Italy!
Our ride through Napoli was on the fly, a combination of sighting points were used: Vesuvius (aka Mount Doom) which you can see from anywhere, the coast, the north, the motorways, the trains, and the compass on my GPS. We expected our route when we looked back at it to look like Squiddly Diddly himself, or like this chap (http://road.cc/content/news/51232-us-teacher-tracks-his-bike-rides-gps-and-creates-some-stunning-artwork-gallery?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2011-12-09) but when we looked at the data post-hoc, we actually traced a pretty direct root, with only one major diversion (and majorly steep too).
.jpg)
We rode up to Baia di Domizia on the coast, a beautiful beach resort, and rode into the back end of Baia di Domizia's Got Talent!
For dinner we found a place called "Blow Up" which did some very nice food and an excellent local wine. Stuart astounded us all, despite us being completely octopus-ed out and all swearing to hold true to Tarvu and Squiddly Diddly, he ordered the only thing on the menu with octopus on it - a pizza. Here it is trying to escape!
Day 7: Baia di Domizia to Ostia
117.1 miles
The plan was to get up early and cycle to Nettuno. A huge amount of faffing meant that once again we were only on the road at 9 am. We took in some beautiful beach roads, with some ever present ominous mountains looming over us, suggesting that once wrong turn could put us in elevation hell. As we rode out into the country I clearly followed a drop of bird poo from quite hugh above a tree come down and land on my leg - Tarvuuuu! But they say it's lucky eh?
For lunch we stopped at a cafe in Terracina and had some rubbish food and some strange chats with the locals. One old guy even told Grots to take his glasses off the wall as someone might half inch them.
This was a forced stop as the Appian way was getting heavier and heavier and a couple of times we were back heavily into terror tour territory - this included several fast and nasty dual carriageways and several tunnels - the longest of which was 2.8 km which is a very uncomfortable time on a bike. After lunch we were rolling around lost when a chap cycled past us. We exchanged a few words and he pootled off, and then we caught him up again a couple of minutes later. He asked where we were going - I said Nettuno but we were not sure which roads would get us there - and he very very politely said that he would escort us there. Amazing. He set off, us hugging his wheels, and although we felt we could go a little quicker, we were sucking his wheel and doing a very nice average - about 20 mph. There is a term in Italian - I think it is "suca ruote" which is in common parlance - in fact, I was at a dinner one time when someone understood the intention but not where it came from. It means a "wheel sucker" - someone who hangs onto a cyclists slipstream and doesn't help back at all.
He led us for about 30 miles possibly through some of the nicest roads I have seen. We went along the coast road at Sabaudia and for a long time we had coast on our left, and lake on our right. Beautiful.
It turns out that our guide - Francesco, obviously sent to us by Tarvu or Squiddly Diddly (my bird poo must've been lucky after all!!) was a very serious cyclist - he had just returned from the tour of Sardinia, and the day after was participating in a gran fondo in Perugia - so this was just a gentle touring ride for him. He led us to being within a mile or two of Nettuno and then we stopped, shook hands and went on our way - another example of how friendly the people we encountered were.
We realised that we could get to Nettuno ealrier than planend and took a tactical decision to go further, to try and get a bit closer to Rome so that we could relax a little the day after. The hotel was reserved, but I had not paid so we just plugged on. I used Booking.com app on my iPhone to identify some hotels, found one and reserved a room. We set off to Torvaianica - about another 15 miles and looked loningly at teh beautiful beaches. Finally we arrived at our reserved hotel - The Albatross - took one look and decided it was not for us! Queue another roadside huddle and hotel search and we decided to go to Ostia.This meant a long long ride of 117 miles - much more than planned, and a shock to the system - and when I say system I mean what they refer to in Italian as "culo".
And finally we arrived in Ostia, also known as Ostia Lido or Lido di Roma. This was developed extensively a little over a hundred years ago and many Romans spend their summers here. It is a very pleasant seaside town with lots to do and gorgeous beaches.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostia_(Rome)
We stayed at the Hotel Belvedere, and our usual battle with bikes this time led to us keeping them on the third floor balcony - not ideal but a pretty fine solution all the same.
After showering and listening to the same music on MTV Italia we went out on the search for food and stumbled across the Wild West Steakhouse and absolutely destroyed their meats. Boom.
Day 8: Ostia to Fiumicino
12.0 miles
After a long day this was to be a gentle warm down. We awoke late after a couple of grappas/whiskeys/disaronnos the night before and took a late breakfast and a morning stroll in the sun before going to the Roman port site of Ostia Antica. This was nothin short of absolutely amazing. Ostia Antica was the workhorse of Rome - all the goods and the millions of litres of oils and other spoils from the world came in at Ostia and were ferried the 20 miles up the river into Rome. The remains left at ostia are incredible. They are very well preserved, and although look as if they have been repaired/restored during a particularly overzealous time of archeaology (for example - the tour guides relate about how some of the mosaics were taken up, and when repaired they were re-ordered to look better!) they are incredible, and all within spitting distance of Fiumicino aiport. We were lucky to be there on primo di maggio and so were able to enter for €1 too. At this point we were hitting the ninja jokes hard - jokes that were so subtle, even more subtle than those of "Subtle Jokes Smith", so so subtle that they barely registered as actual jokes. So ninja that we are awaiting them to creep up and hit us some time down the line. Ninja. Keeeyah!
Leaving Ostia Antica we set out and then the heavens opened. This was the first time we had had real rain, there had been hints of rain the day before but nothing happened but this time it came hard. We had no shower caps but that was ok as Grots doesn't mind wet hair. Even though it was only a few short miles to Fiumicino we managed to get lost and then we reentered the world of terror tours as we had to ride on some nasty and fast dual carriageways to get to the airport - Tarvu!!!
And finally we arrived.
Leaving Ostia Antica we set out and then the heavens opened. This was the first time we had had real rain, there had been hints of rain the day before but nothing happened but this time it came hard. We had no shower caps but that was ok as Grots doesn't mind wet hair. Even though it was only a few short miles to Fiumicino we managed to get lost and then we reentered the world of terror tours as we had to ride on some nasty and fast dual carriageways to get to the airport - Tarvu!!!
And finally we arrived.
Just the not insignifcant matter of repackaging the bikes into boxes, bubble wrapping, removing wheels and pedals and derailleurs, handlebars and sealing in a lot of gaffer tape and the boys were back off to the plane and I back on the roads. Tired but having had a great trip.
Kit
At the end of the trip we were starting to pen 'n ink - the tops as I have previously said were amazing - next year we might swap the colours around so that there is less white to get grubby - wearing the same kit, whilst sitting atop an oily bike is not a mechanism for keeping clothes clean!
And of course a long ride places the body and clothing under extreme demands - but there really is no excuse for us having to exposed to this sort of behaviour!
Kit review and further thoughts:
GPS:
In my opinion GPS is one of the best tools for training. The constant feedback of speed, heartrate, distance, cadence is wonderful to help the training boredom. I used to own a Garmin Forerunner 305 but have recently bought a Garmin 910 xt which has swimming accelerometer capabilities. This is coupled with a heart rate monitor, footpod and cadence sensor. And a bike mounting kit. The GPS has been extremely useful, but it is not like a GPS in the car - you cannot use it for mapping or directions - for this you require a bike-specific Garmin like the Garmin 800. Next year I think I might get one as it would have been extremely useful for us to have one of these - most of the time we wasted was looking at maps, stopping, getting off and getting lost and this would have stopped all that. When things got back I got out the iPhone, turned on location services and did some mapping. This GPS functionality was essential and a lifesaver but I used it very sparingly as it munches battery like a fat kid eating cake.
Bells:
Bells are an essential communication tool. See Day 1 for how to use. Essential.
Clothing:
A good pair of bike shorts was essential for me. I opted for the best pair that I had, which had rather too much white in them to stay clean, but they worked well. Stu went in a trisuit which has less padding - I don't know how he does it!
Packs:
A strong pack is essential, but since this is credit card touring, or "speed touring" we aim to keep the kit as small as possible. Mounting a pat on a seat post mounted pannier is the easiest choice. Some learning from this trip was how those seat post panniers are mounted. Grots was quick release, mine was two bolt, and Stu's was 4 bolt. Also in that ascending order was the solidity of them. In future I will be buying a 4 blot seta post pannier rack.
Locks:
Locks are essential kit, for leaving bikes overnight, outside a coffee shop, and at other times. It is advantageous to have locks that can lock together to make a longer lock.
Rain:
Rain cannot be avoided. It is a test from Tarvu that must be faced. Some wear shower caps under helmets - we did not as discussed elsewhere. A rainproof jacket is useful, I took a Hot Pocket this time - a small bright yellow pocket sized jacket. However, it is only splash proof so next time I will invest in a better more waterproof jacket.
Also, I put my iPhone into a waterproof case that worked really well - highly recommended. We all used zip lock bags to put all our clothes in and all our contents of our bags, especially things like passports, power chargers etc.
First aid kit:
Essential - plasters, ibuprofen pills and gel, bandage, tape
Nutrition and drinks:
We took a lot sugary nutrition drinks and I think this was a mistake. We were eating extremely well at breaks - breakfast, lunch and dinner, and by eating sugary drinks on top was pushing over the top into over nutrition. Instead I think we should have taken something like High5 Zero salt tabs, ate well at stops and lunch and taken sugars when required. We all had spare bars - powerbars, lara bars, cliff bars and some gels. The cliff bars were the clear winners. Gels were difficult to eat on the move.
Gloves:
A well-padded pair of gloves is very useful to stop the vibration issue. Mine were showing some age and could have been better. Plus they were quite stinky too!
Ear plugs:
When sleeping in confined quarters ear plugs are extremely useful to get some rest. And you need a lot of rest when you are putting in some big mileage.
My console
My console is important to me. I am a data freak and like to have numbers and stats to look at and amuse myself whilst turning the wheels of truth.This trip I had:
Garmin 910 xt - heart rate monitor, GPS, speed, mileage, altimeter, compass bearing
Sigma sports computer - mainly for cadence but also speed and temperature
Bell - essential
Novelty bell in the shape of a bunny - double essential
Light - triple essential
This makes for a busy console, in fact next time I might take tribars to give myself a little more room - we shall see!
Grots had a different console - notably the squeaky horn.
In my opinion, a cadence meter is essential. To reduce the strain on joints, it is better to ride with a lighter gear at a higher cadence, aiming ideally for something about 90 spm. This is not natural and takes time to generate the feeling, having a cadence meter to remind you is very helpful indeed.
Shoes:
Shoes are important. I have a pair of NorthWave, which are roomy and comfortable and better than my golden carbon Vittoria 30th anniversary shoes. Stu's had seen too many miles and it looked like Grots had purchased his from Morrissons! Actually these are light carbon shoes from Mavic - but saying that he bought them from Morrissons still gives us endless amusement.
Socks too are important - need to be comfortable, can't be too long and can't be too short. Oh the permutations are endless but any decent pair of cycling socks will work.
Of course shoes have cleats which make them very difficult for walking around, especially when on marble pavements, and we three all had other spare shoes - but having a pair of comfortable touring shoes with at least a little grip is essential.
Bikes:
JJ - Claud Butle Paris Roubaix with Sora groupset and Shimano RS10 wheels
Grots - Specialized Allez with Mavic wheels
Stu - Trek 1200
Creams:
We used Assos Chamois cream in the morning and sudafed at night. I don't need to say much more, but generally we were very pleased with what we had. Having it decanted into individual pots meant that there was no risk of "double-dipping" between compadres which also helps. You get to know a lot about each other on these tours, but even considering that, double-dipping is a step too far.
Wheels:
I made a mistake here. I put some solid training wheels on my tourer last year - these are Shimano RS10s and provide a nice ride. However, last year I had a spoke go on one of my wheels, thankfully very close to a good bike shop, and so we were able to get it changed. For this reason, we decided to carry spare spokes this year. The Shimanos however, have straightpull spokes and we could not source any. Further to this, although the wheels are solid, they actually have very few spokes, only 10 on the front and not many more on the back - next year I will take wheels that have:
a) standard spokes
b) more spokes
But despite my fears, they worked well.
Seats:
A seat needs to be comfortable, very comfortable. Mine was not this year. I am still riding the original Selle Italia saddle that came with my Claud Butler and it is showing signs of wear. It is a nice saddle, but next time I will buy a more padded saddle. Towards the end of the week I was struggling with culo pain and not leg pain.
Tools:
I used a crank brothers multi tool. Very light and has all funtionality required including a chain link extractor. It is the multi 17 took, is tiny and weighs in at only 168g. Very nice, very solid and I really like it.
http://www.crankbrothers.com/tools_multi17.php
Useless things that I wouldn't take again:
Can't think of any just now
Important things I wished I'd taken:
Garmin 800
Music and other stuff:
Lady Gaga - The Edge of Glory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeWBS0JBNzQ
Mel B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjAd7-ISN58
On days like these - Matt Monroe (Italian Job)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQIRbV_noi8
More Mel B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vWNCFYSm_8
Guess what? More Mel B!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIWJ4_YvgB4&feature=related
Young the Giant - Cough Syrup
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAsTlnjvetI
A little bit more Mel B
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R--LzVSDaXM&feature=related
I sincerely hope I never hear this one again!
Goyte - Somebody that I used to know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY
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